I would get the one you are most likely to shoot most often, which in you case, sounds like the matte stainless. I would not put a red dot on one unless it was one of the late models which you could leave on all the time or cowitness. I would put night sights on either one, but that is just my preference. Leave a light with the gun in the house.
My house gun is a SIG P-226 with a rail, light, and night sights. I don't shoot it or my carry gun very often, just a few rounds per month. Just enough. But that is because I spend all my range time with match guns. If I weren't competing all the time, I would shoot the defensive pistols plenty, which means I would get something I really wanted to have, enjoy it, and, oh, by the way, it is my home defense gun when I'm not at the range.